Personal Freedom in 5 Easy Steps

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Today as the United States celebrates Independence Day, we are celebrating freedom of all kinds, but true personal freedom only comes from inside each individual. If you live surrounded by freedoms – freedom from oppression, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of choice – and still feel trapped in your own head, this post outlines five steps you can take toward personal freedom.

How Free Do You Feel?

How free do you feel in your mind and in your heart? Answer these questions to gauge your level of personal freedom:

• How often do you make your choices based on true desire versus feelings of obligation?
• Do you say yes often when you would rather say no?
• Once you’ve made a choice, do you relax into and enjoy it?
• Do you second guess and judge your choice?
• Do you compare your choices with those of others’?
• Are you able to be present in your activity of choice?

Let’s make it even more concrete and focus on today. How free do you feel today?

• Are you doing something you want to do and chose to do?
• Can you relax and enjoy what you’ve chosen to do today?
• Are you second guessing your choice or comparing it to something someone else is doing?
• How present do you feel?

Five Easy Steps to Personal Freedom

If you’re struggling with these questions and feel more trapped than free in your own mind, try these 5 easy steps toward increasing your experience of personal freedom.

1. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?”

It seems silly and a bit obvious to ask yourself what you really want in a situation – but you’d be surprised how often you make decisions reactively. Unfortunately, this means your unconscious habits are driving response – often leading you to end up saying yes when you really would rather say no. All you have to do is PAUSE for a moment, give yourself time to stop and think before you give an answer.

2. Honor your instincts.

Even when you listen to what you want, it’s hard still to choose it. You feel the pressure of what other people want, what you “should” do, what looks good to others and the world outside. But if what you want is to chill out by the pool when everyone else goes to the fair, or go on the roller coaster when no one else wants to – stick with what feels right to you. Follow your gut, especially if you’ve been ignoring it for a long time.

3. Say no to guilt.

When you stay true to what’s right for you, you may feel guilt rise up for not pleasing someone else, for “disappointing” others, for going against the grain. But unless you are deliberately trying to hurt someone, choosing to go with your instincts is actually better for all involved. You’ll be happier, and the others involved will benefit from your cheerful state (or be spared your grumpiness if you do something you’re not enthusiastic about).

4. Stay present.

Once you’ve made your choice, do your best to enjoy it. This means staying present during the activity or event instead of falling prey to self-judgment, “This was a bad choice, I should have chosen X!” or envy, “Those other people are having much more fun than I am!” or guilt, “I hope Z isn’t horribly disappointed that I’m not with them.” So keep your head where your feet are – any time your mind drifts into dangerous territory, bring your attention back to your senses in the moment. Focus on what you’re seeing and doing. If you can, bring in gratitude for the choices you’ve made, and focus on enjoying the experience.

5. Reinforce the behavior for the next time.

To make it more likely that you’ll choose personal freedom the next time, it’s important to take time to acknowledge each time you choose from your heart and your desire. Don’t just move on to the next thing, but take a moment to appreciate that you’ve made choices that make you feel good, not those that require self-sacrifice or half-heartedness. Dwell on the good feeling, invite gratitude for your own decision to honor freedom, and encourage yourself to continue good choices in the future.

Your sense of freedom is not dependent on outside conditions – you don’t need other people or society to give it to you. You can create freedom in your own mind and heart, at any time and any situation. Are you ready to give yourself the gift of personal freedom?

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash