Self-Care is Other Care: 3 Ways to Love Others Through Loving Yourself
Self-care has gone mainstream, but did you know that taking care of yourself is actually also taking care of others? When we take care of ourselves, we meet our own needs and fuel up our inner energy tank. When our energy tank is full, we can draw on it to help others.
Here are three ways that taking care of yourself leads to taking care of others.
1. GIVE FROM YOUR EXTRA, NOT YOUR ESSENCE.
If we just give and give and give without taking care of our own needs, we deplete our energy. If we haven’t eaten, slept, drank enough water, taken a break, done something fun, or otherwise taken care of our needs, we are running on empty. We have nothing to give. And when we try to give, we often end up irritable, angry, or resentful. If instead we take care of our own needs, we can build up extra energy to give to others.
2. SHOW UP AS YOUR BEST SELF
When you don’t take care of yourself but keep on giving to others, you bring exhausted, impatient, or angry energy to your interactions with others. This does not help you or anyone else. But when you invest in your own care, you can show up as your best self. Nourished, rested, hydrated, more relaxed, happier. Other people enjoy their interactions with you. And you serve as a role model, inspiring them, too, to take care of themselves.
3. ALIGN SELF-ESTEEM WITH SELF-CARE, NOT CAREGIVING
Many of us learn that our worth comes from what we do for and give to others. We have to let go of that old belief to put self-care first. Many of us in caregiving roles have not examined these beliefs. Do you truly believe that it’s important to take care of yourself first? Self-care is often also tied to self-esteem – when we believe in ourselves and the importance of meeting our needs, we believe we are worthy of self-care.
BUILD A SELF-CARE PLAN
We’re so used to giving to others that we neglect our own needs. The fact is, we don’t just have to put our oxygen mask on first in an EMERGENCY, we can do it EVERY DAY! Every time you do something to take care of you, you put fuel in your tank. The more energy you have, the more you can give to others. If you don’t already have one, here are some suggestions for developing a self-care plan.
Basics:
First, make sure you’ve got the basic human needs covered. How well do you do with these:
Food/water: ____________________________________
Shelter: ____________________________________
Clothing: ____________________________________
Sleep: ____________________________________
Exercise: ____________________________________
Additional Needs:
Beyond the basics, we have other psychological and self-fulfillment needs. How can you invest in:
Social connections: ____________________________________
Safety/security: ____________________________________
Achievement: ____________________________________
Creativity: ____________________________________
Purpose: ____________________________________
Do you even know your needs after taking care of others for so long? Can you take care of yourself without guilt? You are worth it! It’s worth taking the time to identify what you need, and brainstorm how to meet those needs in ways that sustain and nourish you so that you are more healthy and whole when it comes to others requests for help and support.
