For Real Serenity, STOP, and Find the True You

If your anxiety drives you to seek serenity “out there,” STOP, and instead look inside for the true you.

I’ve been anxious most of my life. That means I have rarely felt at ease inside my own skin. On a regular basis, the people, things, and circumstances in my life have triggered my emotions, distracted me from my focus, or made me uneasy. As a result, I formed one goal that trumped every other.

It wasn’t money, job security, or a man. Most of all, I wanted peace of mind. And so I sought serenity. Of course the first thing I tried was changing everyone and everything around me. If only he or she would __________________ [fill in the blank], or this or that would happen, I could rest easy.

What are Your “If Onlys”?

• If only…I had a better job
• If only…my spouse were different
• If only…my children were more responsible
• If only…I had a house
• If only…that coworker would disappear
• If only…others would do ________________
• If only…others would not do ________________

…you can see how ridiculous the “if onlys” can be as a mechanism for finding peace of mind.

Seeking Serenity

It turns out serenity is nowhere “out there.” It can in fact, only be found inside ourselves. We have to STOP:

• Surrender – allow that we’ll never find the answer outside ourselves
• Turn inward – Look inside for answers
• Open our minds – be open to information coming from our true source
• and get Present – stay in the moment, not the past or present

This is the only way to hear the voice of our true selves. We all already know what we need for serenity, happiness, and inner comfort. We just need to listen to that one true voice. Other voices compete – those of our false self – so look and listen for the true you.

How Do You Know Which Voice Belongs to the True You?

Start with the ones you know are not. The true you does not:

• Beat you up
• Deride your choices
• Blame you for anything
• Tell you to do something unhealthy
• Spread spite

Rather, the voice of our true selves will encourage:

• Being kind
• Taking healthy actions
• Having fun
• Doing enjoyable things
• Enhancing our wellbeing
• Feeling good
• Loving others
• Taking care of our own needs

So the next time you’re feeling uneasy, anxious, or mixed up, ask yourself, “What would my true self do?” Then listen for the kindest, most loving response from inside. And take action on that.

Photo by Anh Nguyen on Unsplash