From Empty Nester to Next Stager: How to Find Your Purpose

When you become an empty nester, you have the opportunity to find your purpose and do all those things you’ve put aside for all those years. It’s time to go beyond empty nester, to become a next stager who finds inspiration, meaning, and fulfillment. It’s your time!

You’ve done an amazing job being a parent.

You’re launching your kids into the world, feeling proud, confident, and sure that you’ve equipped them to be successful, smart, independent adults.

Now what? As you look around the empty room – you see the memories of toys on the carpet, messy shoes by the door, and you wonder to yourself, “What comes next?”

Many mothers experience the excitement, anticipation, and even the pain when their nest becomes empty.

They ask themselves questions like:

• “What is my role now?”
• “Who am I after my kids leave?”
• “Do I even know myself after 20+ years of raising kids?”

Some mothers see the empty-nest as an exciting opportunity to do all the things they’ve sacrificed for their kids over the past 20 years, but then they feel stuck and unsure of what to do next.

When being a mother is your career, what happens when it’s time to “retire”?

10 years ago, my career was really taking off. I was in a marketing leadership role for a global company, and like so many of you, I absolutely LOVED what I did.

But I felt like something was missing. I decided to step away.

The decision to step away from the comfortable and familiar filled me with anxiety, fear, nervousness, and even excitement.

Despite these feelings, I was propelled forward by the possibilities.

I wanted to do something differently.

I had to start with ME – who was I, what were my goals, what did I really want out of life?

I had to get clear about what I could offer and what I wanted to invest my time in.

It was hard work to really get honest about my strengths and weaknesses, the obstacles that were holding me back.

But it was worth it, because in doing that hard work, I came to a clear and centered place inside myself, I gained peace of mind, and I discovered a burning desire to help other people know themselves, love themselves, and go for their goals.

YOU can do this, too! Now that your children are becoming independent, you have the opportunity to look at your life – your hopes, dreams, and talents – and shape the next stage of your life into something powerful, meaningful, and fulfilling.

YOU have a purpose. YOU have a next step. YOU have a new role to fill.

Empty nest implies something is missing. And it is; your children are no longer close by your side, though they are always in your life. But at the same time, your life can be FULL again as you pursue the hopes and dreams you might have sidelined while raising your family.

It’s the next stage of your life. You’re not just an empty nester, you’re a NEXT STAGER. You’re ready to listen to the calling of your soul. What are you here for? What’s the next adventure you want to have in life?

Maybe you’ve been volunteering for a cause you can now devote more time to. Perhaps you have an entrepreneurial idea. Maybe you want to do some deep inner personal work. Or you might just want to slow down, take a breath, relax, and rediscover who you are now that the intensive job of child-rearing is moving to the rear-view mirror.

Now is the time! You deserve to spend some time and energy on discovering what feeds your soul. What is your purpose, what is the work you have yet to do? What is your calling? What do you want your legacy to be?

It could be growing your career, or other work that stems from your professional skills. It could be devoting time to family and friends. Only you know what is right for you, and discovering that can be a process. You may want some help along that journey.

Here are a 6 tips for starting down the exciting road of empty nester/next stager:

1. Give yourself some time. You’ve been going at 90 miles an hour for so many years, take a step back. Slow down, take a breath, pause, relax. You don’t have to rush to the next thing, you can take time to reflect on what you know, what you love, and what inspires you.
2. Grieve if you need to. You might need to grieve during this period – your kids are launching, your life is changing, and there is a loss. Give yourself the time to allow yourself to feel, express, and let go of the intense emotions that might come up.
3. Look for resources. Find others who are asking the same questions. Read, research, look for ideas from others going through the same experience. How are other empty nesters finding their purpose and calling and shaping their next stage in life?
4. Explore your skills and interests. What lights you up? What do you love to do, whether it’s part of your job or volunteer work or vocation. Make a list of the things you would like to do more of.
5. Reflect on your past and your future. What did you want in life when you were younger? Have you reached those goals? If not, are they still what you want? Or do you have a new vision?
6. Make your future vision tangible. Whether you like to write or journal, use artistic media, express in music or other avenues – sketch out your future vision. Where and what do you want to be doing in 5 years? 10? Describe your perfect future life.

This stage in life is SO exciting, the possibilities seem endless, like a new lease on life. We have the time and attention to devote to the interests that we might have been ignoring. It’s time for you to find your purpose and the fulfillment of a life well lived.

So tell me, what would you do if you really gave yourself permission to shape your fulfilling future? What is the next step for you as a NEXT STAGER?

Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash